November 15, 2005

Chetan Bhagat 2

Nearly 2 weeks after Chetan Bhagat’s (the author of the –ahem-ahem!!- bestseller “Five Point Someone- What not to do at IIT) latest offering ONE NIGHT @ THE CALL CENTER hit the stores, I laid my hands on one.

As the title clearly suggests, the book records incidents taking place in a sequence, over the span of around 11.5 hours.

The back cover reads, “Welcome to one night @ the call center, another witty, dark novel from award-winning author of the nation bestseller Five Point Someone.”

a) WHICH awards did the author win???
b) The book isn’t all ‘that’ dark. Witty? A li’l bit. But ‘dark’, hmm…….anyone wanna define it?

It took me nearly 4 hours to devour the book. Yeap…in1 sitting, flat!! It didn’t hurt, BECAUSE, this book is kinda fast-moving. (The only other authors, whom I’d like to put in that category, are Shobhaa De n Farrukh Dhondy.)

The author’s pretty straight forward in whatever he wants to say. No beating around the bush!! Not short, but crisp for sure.

He’s actually put down the so-called pre-decided series of event prevalent in society. It just ended up as being corny. Everyone knows what he/she is gonna go through. What someone else has gone through. And what someone else will go through. Writing them down, was probably his way of alerting people who live in their own sweet world!!
Sample this, “ ‘…it’s the girl who always gets to choose. Men propose and women accept the proposal or, as in many cases reject it.’

It’s true. Girls go around rejecting men like it is their birthright. They have no idea how much it hurts us. I read that the reason for this is that the female of the species has to bear their offspring with a lot of effort. Hence they choose their mates carefully. Meanwhile, men dance around, spend cash, make them laugh, write stupid poems, anything to win them over. The only species where courting works in reverse is the sea horse. …I wished I were a sea horse. How hard can it be to carry a couple of eggs in a backpack?”

Well, the narrator is trying to be real. Not bad! But, I’m sure, there r far better reasons why women get to chose, n why it is not the reverse!!!!!!

Apart from the above, there are a few other instances, where the narrator gets real. Really real!

It gives u an insight into the hierarchy at a call center. And a brief idea about what all a call center agent MIGHT have to go through!

I’d recommend this book only if,

* u wanna follow up on what exactly happens??

* U JUST want to read this one, because u read the last one. And wanna be one of those, ‘ well-informed’ ones!!!!

* U think, it might help u, and lastly,

* U wanna do some time pass. As in, getting really bored? Okay with the idea of reading something, it might relax u? well the, GO AHEAD and grab a copy!

November 11, 2005

city of love

This is fun for those who have lived in or around Bombay ....

Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay.
Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
There is no darkness in Andheri.
Lalbaug is neither red nor a garden.
No king ever stayed at Kings Circle.
Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.
Nor is there any princess at Princess street.
Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel.
There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.
There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.
Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.
Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar Terminus.
Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market.
Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
You cannot buy coal at Kolsa Galli.
There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.
There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.
Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
Null bazaar does not sell taps.
You will not find ladyfingers at Bhendi Bazaar.
Kalachowki does not have a black Police station.
Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.
Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi,
Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi,
Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi
But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor (Chira) Bazaar!!!

THINGS TO PROVE YOU'RE A BOMBAYITE.1. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.
2. You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi',which only Bombayites can understand.
3. Your door has more than three locks, or you have more than one door.
4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend awake at home.
7. You call a 10' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
8. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
9. You have the following sets of friend: schoolfriends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends,a species unique only in Bombay.
10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamount Road.
11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.
13. You take fashion seriously. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
15. You compare Bombay to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport
18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
21. You love wading throughv knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.
22. Only in Bombay, you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain pizza , Jain Chicken.
23. You call traffic policemen as 'Pandus" and expect out-of-towners to understand that.
24. ''Lochya, lafda, Chutya, item, kalti, zol'' are some of the common words used with some specific meaning which you will not find in any dictionary
PS :- ‘BOMBAY’ is actaully the portugese for ‘GOOD BAY’. ‘Bom’ means good.

November 4, 2005

working fun

Housekeeping is one S-E-R-I-O-U-S business. It took me full 30 hrs to realise that!!!!!!
Well, my mom’s out of town for 2 weeks, n 30 hrs down the line, I have made truce with the fact that this ‘business’, or so I’d like to call, requires big time management skills, intelligence and god knows what!! Housewives, hats off to u! Thank god, at least I won’t be one of them!!!!!
But then, who’s cribbing?? I’ve been gorging on exotic fruits ever since she left. And, never on earth, she’d let me make Caribbean fruit salad’ for my lunch!!
Mmmm ……I’m loving it, or rather, living it!!!!